Brace Yourselves

I've been thinking about you, and about the many of you who have in come in seeking relief from those places where you hold all your tension.

I have those places too. Neck, shoulders, sometimes my stomach.

And so my question is, if we weren't holding it there, or anywhere, what might that feel like?

I'm guessing the first response would be, "Well, it'd feel great! Duh.."

But here's the thing. There's a reason why we do that. Why we tense up, clench up, brace parts of our body.

It feels safer. Yeah, I know. Weird. This has been referred to as 'body armoring', and without going into huge detail here, the term was coined by controversial psychotherapist, Wilhelm Reich, to describe conditions in the physical body where repressed childhood memories are chronically held.

Psychological trauma aside, I have also read that we tend to tense up as a means of creating a sense of stability in our bodies when faced with difficult situations. Like someone yelling at us. Or driving. Or dealing with any kind of stress, until this becomes an automatic and ingrained response and condition. It's as if in response to the external chaos we're facing, we create solidity in our bodies so as not to feel blown over or swept away.

While we can imagine experiencing tremendous relief in having those tension-holding muscles released, we may also feel strangely vulnerable and insecure. Especially if we were to be in those trigger situations again, without the response of bracing ourselves.

So, again, what might that feel like?

Maybe it's helpful to remember that our nervous systems and bodies are responding to every day situations as though they're more threatening than they are, because they remind that deeper part of our selves that feels like something life threatening. Being yelled at as a kid was scary. Seeing adults out of control was terrifying. Overstimulation and invisible monsters under the bed can still affect us as adults.

What might it be like to pay attention to the breath and the body and maintain a state of relaxation in the face of stress (provided it wasn't endangering), and fully felt the emotions that arose, no matter how uncomfortable?

Maybe it would help to remember that we're adults now. Maybe it would take some practice in bringing awareness to the situation and directing your focus in a different direction.

Like on your feet. Feeling yourself rooted in the earth. Gracefully poised and relaxed, but stable and secure.

Or on your core and center. Secure in the unshakable truth of who you Really are.

Both of these require some practice and mastery outside of stressful situations so that they can be called upon easily in times of need. And like with anything, awareness is the key. Notice when your shoulders tense up, your jaw clenches. Breathe into those places and let go.

So, now let me ask, where do you hold your peace?

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Under Pressure - Turtle Syndrome

How Does Your Life Feel?

Under Pressure - Grounding

The Fifth Element

Making Peace (on Earth) with the To-Do List

Another reminder of the message I've repeated for the last couple of years regarding this time of year...

Winter is traditionally a time for slowing down, regrouping and restoring. The activity and growth of the warmer seasons is meant to provide us with the means to survive through the cold with as little activity as possible. Obviously, this is not really our experience in modern times; in fact, the holidays tend to be the most frantic time of the year.

 

I suppose unless mass cultural agreement happens around reducing the unnatural pace, we will have to make more deliberate individual choices around finding spaces of peace and reflection in order to be more harmonized with the natural world.

 

If you find this time of year stressful, may I make a suggestion?

 

It's been my experience (and maybe yours as well) that a good deal of stress comes from the added things on our 'to-do' list that we feel obligated to do. What is we took a moment (and a very deep breath) to look at some of those items, and asked, 'what could be the worst that will happen if I don't do this?' Who will be unhappy? Who will think less of me? Who won't understand? What part of my self-image will have to change or be sacrificed in order to have a little more peace this season? Who will go hungry as a result of not getting my Christmas cookies this year? (Side note: our old mailman used to pass along to our family pounds of cookies he received from our neighbors, because he always got just too darn much.. just a thought..).

 

And lastly, what truly meaningful 'to-do's' are suffering as a result of being lost in the shuffle?

 

So, if you can, give yourself a break. Enjoy the season. Get in touch with the stillness. Feel it in yourself. Your body and soul will thank you for it.

Radical Honesty

What does honesty have to do with health?

click the image to buy!Brad Blanton, Ph.D, psychotherapist and author of the book, "Radical Honesty: How to Transform Your Life by Telling the Truth," maintains that 'lying is the major source of all (non-environmentally induced) human stress." And stress, as it manifests in the physical body, which it always does, can be bad for your health.

I first read this book about 12 years ago. The title is compelling, to be sure. My first reaction was, "Oh, yeah. Well, I consider myself to be a pretty honest person, but sure, I'm willing to see how much better I can do.".

As I began reading through the introduction and then even only the first chapter, I came to see that I may have underestimated what Blanton meant by "radical", and what he was suggesting was leaping way out of the comfort zone, almost into the realm of, "Are you kidding me? You want me to do what???"

But like many things that are self-evident, I was then left with the undeniable realization that to not be honest in the ways he suggested would leave me with at best, a substandard, disconnected life; at worst, a slow and painful self-destruction.

So, what are we talking about?

This is not about huge lies and cover-ups like non-existent WMD's, though that can be seen as the fruit of the seeds planted in a million little ways by a culture that values appearances over truth. This is about releasing ourselves from the fabricated personalities we've taken on, first in early childhood to 'be good' and ensure the love of our caregivers, and then the posturing of adolescence as we are trying to individuate and create a self-identity.

Blanton says that maturity, the process of becoming a grown-up, is about relinquishing the attachment to that adolescent identity, and all of the dishonest and withholding tactics that go into protecting that identity at all costs. We are a society of lying, posturing adolescents. True intimacy and connection can only come from revealing the truth about who we really are... what we feel... our judgments, our ugliness, our warts and all... otherwise we are trapped in a hell of our own creation. And the immense energy required to maintain these precious illusions most definitely takes a toll on our health and well-being.

It's not easy, and it's not a one-time event. It's a life-long process requiring vigilance, mindfulness, and a willingness to have the illusion of 'self' destroyed over and over again. But the rewards are feeling alive and walking with the earth with a sense of lightness and freedom... and real connection with other human beings.

Brad Blanton is on a mission, you could say. Not just for the liberation of the individual, but of civilization.. which he believes to be based on a foundation of lies. Indeed, he sees the very act of truth-telling to be the only thing that will save us from our own extinction.

Want to learn more? Check out Brad's website.... not for the faint of heart, I'll warn you now.. :)

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Monday Meditation - Progressive Relaxation for Stress

I have to say I questioned whether promoting such a degree of relaxation is always a good thing, especially if you're reading this at work.

If that's the case, I'd say, save this for either a time when some stress relief would be really useful in your busy routine, or when you are done for the day.

Also, if you have favorite meditations of your own, feel free to share them!

Enjoy, and have an easy-flowing Monday!

Under Pressure - Opening Up

In yesterday's post, I talked a bit about the catch-22 cycle of pressure and overwhelm creating a posturing of contraction, which then leads to more perception and experience of pressure and overwhelm.

As our bodies adapt a 'curling-inward' type of form.. hunched shoulders, rounded back, stooped posture.. with the associated symptoms of tight neck, shoulders, and back (as well as restricted breathing, impaired digestion and headaches), our mental processes tend to reflect contraction as well. I mentioned yesterday that the yin (receptive) meridians which run along the front of our bodies are being pulled inward, almost protectively. Add stress and tension to the equation and you have chronic pain.

Let's take a closer look at those meridians.

If you're not familiar with the idea of meridians, here is a brief explanation. But suffice it to say,  they are specific pathways believed to carry energy... each meridian being associated with a specific organ or organ function as the ancient Chinese understood them.

In the front upper body, the area that becomes the most pulled in and protected, are the Lung, Heart and Heart Governor meridians. These run from the area of the upper chest along the inside of the arms.

Functionally speaking, the Lungs are all about receptivity. They are our first interface with the external world from the moment we take our first breath, and the necessity of breathing makes us extremely and immediately vulnerable to our environment. (I've heard it said that smoking, which, through the introduction of heat, is yang-izing, and therefore means of feeling less yin: receptive and vulnerable).

The Heart, of course, is our center. Believed by the ancient Chinese to be the supreme organ, it is referred to as the Emperor, and represents our innermost core. The Heart Governor (or Heart Protector), which would be most closely associated with the pericardium, is given the title of Prime Minster, as it protects the heart, and governs which influences are allowed to come into the presence of the heart.

So, you can see our natural tendency, in the face of what we deal with on a daily basis, to adopt a stance of protectiveness, even unconsciously... and how many of our daily activities reinforce this posture. It is a good thing to be compassionate and appreciative to our bodies for what they do to serve our emotional needs, but important to recognize that the pain and suffering we experience as result is a signal of imbalance.

Some ideas for relief.

See the above photo? That is a beautiful illustration of those three meridians being brought out and stretched in the light of day. What does that picture say to you? To me it speaks of openness, expansion, and trust (one of the key emotional associations with the Lungs is trust), letting go, and yes, surrender. Just releasing yourself into this pose causes a deep inhalation, and is an affirmation of the above qualities.. a temporary release of control, and an acceptance and trust in the rightness of things, regardless of our momentary perspective.

A brief exercise you can do.

Begin in a standing position, arms at your sides, with your middle fingers and thumbs touching lightly. On the inhale, step your left foot forward, bringing your arms up gracefully overhead. On the exhale, release your arms, letting them swing at your sides, and replace your left foot to stand next to the right. On the next inhale, repeat this with your right foot. You can do this several times until you experience a sense of calm and relaxation. For a little more challenge, at the inhale you can give a little lift with back foot, like a dancer, as if you were going to leap off a cliff. This is a good visualization to accompany that, too. This might feel silly, but it is a very clear kinesthetic message to your body of your intention to trust in letting go.

Self massage.

I said that these yin meridians run down the inner side of the arms from the upper chest. Most of us feel our tension in our backs and neck, but this frontal area is where we get contracted. (See here for a post about this.) Applying deep pressure along these lines will help to get the energy flowing along these meridians and facilitate opening.

You can start at the points under the collarbone, closest to the midline of your chest. Apply circular motions with your index and middle fingers, working out toward you armpit. This area may feel surprisingly tender. The Lung meridian begins between your first and second ribs, three finger widths below the outer tip of the collarbone, in the pectoral muscle. It continues down the inner length of the arm to the thumb. Even simple massage at this point will invoke a sense of release.

The Heart Governor meridian can be traced from a point just outside of the nipple, over the armpit, and along the length of the inner arm to the tip of the middle finger.

And the Heart meridian begins in the armpit, along the inner arm, in line with the outer part of the hand to the tip of the pinky. A light tapping with a loose fist, and a firm grasping massage down the length of the arm will stimulate these meridians.

(By the way, firm pressure with the thumb in the center of the opposite palm - Heart Governor 8 - brings relief from anxiety.)

Play with these techniques for a bit, and tomorrow I'll show you some ways to relieve tension on the yang side.

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Under Pressure - Turtle Syndrome

It's been great seeing the comments rolling in about this topic, obviously it's something many of us have experience with!

So, now let's move on to another popular manifestation of the expression of pressure in our bodies: the tight upper body syndrome.

This is a very common condition that brings a lot of folks into my office... tension, pain, stiffness in the neck, shoulders and upper back. Structurally, it seems obvious why this is such a widespread malady... caused by something Moshé Feldenkrais referred to as "flexion addiction". Take a look at the predominant posturing in our culture -- hips flexed as in sitting: sitting to eat, drive, work, anything, and for long periods of time, with arms flexed as well. This alone creates a chronic imbalance between extended (stretched) muscles and contracted muscles. Add to this all of the moments of stress experienced while in this position, and we kind of lock ourselves into this form.

Energetically, let's look at what's happening through the meridian lens.

The yang, (active, strong) meridians are located primarily on the back side of our bodies and limbs. If you curled yourself up into a ball, you would be exposing only the yang meridians. Conversely, the yin (receptive) meridians are on the underbelly, the softer sides of our bodies and limbs. Describing the trend of our culture's posture in this way, it is as if we are assuming more of a protective stance, curling in on our more vulnerable sides, almost becoming like turtles. We put our backs (literally and figuratively) toward things which appear as threats, because they can withstand trauma and pain better than any of our other parts, while our more vulnerable areas, upper chest and abdomen, become more drawn in and, in effect, weaker.

We are, in essence, closing in on ourselves, becoming more contracted, and exacerbating the experience of pressure.

Not only is this manifested externally in our form, but the contraction of structure inhibits full breathing, circulation and ease of organ functioning. More pressure is created as a result, and on and on it goes.

Does this sound accurate to you? Does this feel like your own experience?

Tomorrow's post: some exercises to open up the contraction of the body. See you then!

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Under Pressure - Grounding

....In which we begin to explore methods to relieve the physical experience and pressure, and shift our posturing in relation to the world and what it is offering us... sound like fun?

Beginning with my own experience of feeling "pressured", which I can only describe as feeling like a part of myself is running ahead, and getting away from me. I'll start off the day feeling centered and energized, and once the momentum gets going, if at any point, my thoughts turn to all of the other things I still have in mind to accomplish... whoosh!... I feel almost an immediate sense of panic and anxiety, especially in my chest, accompanied by either paralysis, sinking mood or irritability. So, in this scenario, it's really a need for grounding and a reining in of my energetic body into myself.

** So, the first thing I would do is to just stop for a minute. And breathe. Not deeply, just gently and intentionally. Maybe even spend a few moments in Mountain Pose.

** I would then get a sense of my feet on the floor, maybe even go outside for a minute, barefoot if the weather allows, and reconnect with the earth.

** In these few moments, I might ask myself 'what is the reality of the sense of urgency I feel?' What is really important to accomplish on this day, and what can I just allow to flow or wait.

** A good grounding pressure point is Spleen 6, located three finger widths above the inside ankle bones, and just along the shin bone. Pressing into this spot or massaging it, as well as just general massage around the ankle and the feet, will bring some of that upward moving energy which leads to irritability, downward into the feet.(Pressure on Spleen 6 is also good for relieving menstrual cramps, but should be AVOIDED in pregnancy).

(Interestingly, one of the characteristics of an imbalance in the Earth element, of which the Spleen meridian belongs to, is pensiveness, or too much thinking...)

** Another efficacious point for sending energy downward, and relieving headaches from too much thinking, is the Hoku point, or Large Intestine 4. This point is located on the fleshy mound between the forefinger and the thumb. This point also should be avoided during pregnancy.

** Next, to further nurture the earth element and a sense of expansiveness, would be to have a small snack or meal with a sweet taste. Sugarr is most definitely expansive, and great to relieve mental contraction after a lot of cerebral activity (can't you just feel it in the front of your head?), but refined sugar can be too extreme, and I find that it really exacerbates that breathless, tight chest feeling. But something whole and higher in carbs is good for grounding, like an organic PB & J. (I also like almond or cashew butter...!)

Ttomorrow, I will give some tips to deal with the sense of feeling boxed in and contracted. Stay tuned!!