i'm too sexy for this post

In response to a weird dream I had last night involving Eric Bogosian (please don't ask), which I believe to be subconscious stirrings brought about by some deep relationship work I've been doing, I've been pondering the meaning of 'sexy' all day.

Sexy, not as in the allure of long legs, voluptuous cleavage and flowing hair.. none of which I have ... but as in that juicy quality of life. Sexuality and passion... the realm of the root chakra.. the wellspring of all creativity, connection to the earth, what it means to be a spiritual being in a physical body... fully alive and fully in relationship with the world and all its inhabitants.

This dream, well, I won't go into the gory details, but it was an invitation to explore that part of myself. A part, I had just been discovering, I have shied away from...mostly due to parental legacy. (Yes, I forgive them.) The vision I was given in my dream was of fear. And guilt. And exhilaration. But also permission to go there. Now.

And then I woke up. Eric was gone and I was left with a strong desire to get on the treadmill.

I don't expect to grow longer legs, or fantastic breasts, or suddenly appear twenty years younger. So, does that mean that I can't embrace my sexuality?

I think not. So, back to my pondering about what being sexy means to me. And a list thus far:

Sexy is ... self-respect

Sexy is ... feeling comfortable, no, simply radiant and divine, in my own skin

Sexy is ... confidence as in when coming from the heart

Sexy is ... honesty

Sexy is ... gracefulness

Sexy is ... healthy

Sexy is ... self-care

Sexy is ... losing myself in the moment

Sexy is ... taking responsibility

Sexy is ... enveloping another with warmth

Sexy is ... attentiveness to glimpses of gorgeousness

Sexy is ... saying yes

Sexy is ... saying no

Sexy is ... grooving to my own rhythm

Sexy is ... meeting an Other, particularly a male other, right where they are, without any diminishment of my own power or of theirs

Sexy is ... staying in that moment of intense intimacy without flinching or backing down

Sexy is ... fearlessness. Fearlessness is sexy

Sexy is ... letting love decide

What's your definition?

Comments

[Donna Bruschi]

I totally agree with "Staying in that moment of total intimacy without flinching or backing down"

Holding that intimacy leads to safety and bonding. It creates time and space for further exploration and healing. We tend to isolate ourselves out of fear of rejection or whatever...when you get that "squirmy feeling" and embrace it, others notice and it gives them permission to do the same. There is a 'conversation' of body language that follows. You go beyond words into knowing and experiencing love.

When you act first, others will follow.

[Gina Loree' Marks]

Thank you Donna.. yes, "squirmy feeling" indeed. Bordering on sheer terror some cases. But I am committed to working on that one to break through to the sweetness on the other side..